


Hallowed Be Thy Name

by Jumping_Jess



Category: Stephanie Plum - Janet Evanovich
Genre: F/M, Gen, Joe gets slightly bashed, One For The Moneyverse, bookverse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-29
Updated: 2012-12-29
Packaged: 2017-11-22 21:03:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,304
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/614312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jumping_Jess/pseuds/Jumping_Jess
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stephanie Plum is not having a good month and a dose of Catholic Guilt is not what she needs right now, or is it? Rated T for potty mouth and guns.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Hallowed Be Thy Name

~I own nothing, I just play with them from time to time.~

"Son of a bitch" I cursed as my bright and ok not that shiny 98 mustang gave a clunk and sputter before stalling, coasting it into a parallel parking space I leaned forward against the steering wheel and let out a ragged laugh. Nothing had gone right today and to be honest it hadn't been exactly kosher for the last month. Everything had been going great since June, I had been getting better at the whole bounty hunter gig and whenever Ranger was around he gave me the occasional Bad Ass 101 lesson...

You know when he wasn't trying to make my ovaries explode. I had even met a handful of his friends one of which I'm positive was his cousin...flirty bastard. My skips were coming in easier and since I was with Morelli my Ma was off my back, well except when she was nagging me to bag him while the girls were still perky and my child baring years weren't gone completely.

But then Ranger had gone out of town 4 months ago, skips had slowed down some(apparently criminals aren't big on crime, when the get away car can kill you in an icy crash.)and Mr.-I'm-different-than-the-rest-of-my-family-Cupcake- Morelli did what every Morelli man does and turned mean...And cheated with that skank Terry Gilman.

So back with the nagging from Ma about my job and no husband on the horizon, although in all fairness she thought one of my skips had ruffed me up and I hadn't told anyone but Connie and Lula about any of the rest of it. Not surprisingly it hadn't gotten out on the street what had happened, when a UC cop and Mob Princess bump ugly's it's not spread around.

Joe made that very clear when he paid me a visit, hours after I found them in his bed...that hurt more than anything, he didn't even stop screwing her when he saw me just kept up pumping her into the head board. And to top it all off the heating in my building broke last month and so far hadn't been fixed yet 2 weeks later so Rex had, had to move in with Mary Lu so his furry little hamster tukas wouldn't freeze off like mine has been.

Sighing I straightened back into a sitting position before reaching down and popping the hood, opening the car door I got half way out before remembering one of Rangers more adamant lessons. Always be aware of your surroundings. Scanning the darkened parking lot my eyes were drawn across the street to St. Joachim's, due to a head cold and avoidance of my mother I had missed Christmas Mass.

Ducking back into the car I grabbed my stash of fast food napkins and my keys, opening the hood I clicked on my minnie mag light on my key ring before commencing a heated stare down with my engine. "Ok listen up Veronica I don't like you and you obviously don't like me, although I don't know why I always fill you up with gas and clean you up when a skip pukes on you sooo..."

'Crap, ok I can do this. What did Eddie always say..." Struggling to recall the memory I poked at the cooler looking areas before clicking my fingers, "If it's not the gas, check the oil." shining my light at one of the few pieces of car I knew what to do with I unscrewed the cap before pulling out the oil strip. Since I had just filled her up with gas this morning I hoped this was my problem since I didn't know what else to check and didn't know anyone who could come get me at this hour other than Dad, checking my cell phone I realized it was to late for that too when it read 6:12.

I wasn't in luck though, pulling the oil stick back out it was shiny with oil all the way to the halfway point. "Shittastic with a side of fuck me." Slamming the hood down I turned and sat down on it, crossing my arms I shivered.'Nearest garage is 20 minutes away and I still haven't found my skip.' I had been looking for the little thief all day, stomping back around the side of the car I threw myself in before slamming the door. Pulling the skips file out of my purse I flipped threw it once more,

Tommy Daniels  
D.O.B. 03/3/88  
Bond: 1,300

he had been a straight A student all the way till he college when according to his mother he got a stoner girlfriend before dropping out. Now his file was filled with indecent exposure and intoxicated while in public charges, until now that is. Three weeks ago he got busted with lb of weed and a bong at a Phil Collins tribute concert, his parents put up everything they had and an arm to get him bonded out.

That's of course where I come in, he skipped and I needed "quick" cash. Ha what a laugh 2 days later and I've only caught sight of him once, I've got 1 more day before I have to bring him in or Vinnie says he's going to fire me Dominatrix and Daisy the Duck be damned.

Taking stock I decided to wait till 7:30 and call Dad rather than walk, hey I'm not lazy my feet are just sore. As I sat there my eyes kept drawing to the church and I could feel a good dose of Catholic guilt building up, stuffing the file back into my purse I freshened my makeup before grabbing it and getting out. Locking the doors I jogged across the street, not stopping until I was up the church steps and opening the door.

Checking the sign for confession hours I couldn't decide if it was relief or dread I was feeling to see that they went on for another 2 hours, sliding into a back pew I sat down. Staring up at the stained glass cross behind the pulpit for a moment bowed my head and prayed, after a few minutes I felt a tingle on the back of my neck that I had come to associate with Ranger.

I stood up before admonishing my self and sitting back down, 'Rangers not here, he's...wherever Ranger go's when he's not here, I would have seen him at the bonds office if he were back.' the door to the confessional opened and an elderly woman stepped out standing up I walked the few feet over to it before entering. I felt the same relief/dread well up as when I read the sign, sitting down I spoke.

"Bless me Father for I have sinned...its been...9 months since my last confession and I was unable to make it to Christmas mas. I lost my job 9 months ago and I feel like so much bad has happen'd since then, way more than the good." "God forgives any who are repentant my child, are you repentant?" "Yes Father." "Speak your sins and be absolved." "I've committed the sin of Envy, Lust and Wrath." There was a small pause before he spoke again, "Speak of each of these."

"Yes Father, I felt envy for others materiel wealth. Lust for a man I don't plan to marry and I killed a man in self defense." there was a longer pause this time. Relief had won out over dread and I could feel myself breathing easier, in a slightly sterner voice he spoke. "Have you informed the proper authorities of the killing?" "Yes Father, he...wasn't a very good man, I had the police's full backing after it happened."

We continued on for a few more minutes before he gave me a number of Hail Mary's and I exited closing the door softly behind me. Rolling my shoulders I walked over to the Holy candles, the faint tingle I had felt earlier had stuck with me threw confession and brought Ranger to the forefront of my mind.

'It couldn't hurt and I might as well light one fore Lula to, she's still living in the same section of ghetto she was when we met." Pulling a 20 out of my pocketbook I dropped it into the collection box and preceded over to the box filled with matches. I glanced at the Saints stuck in alcoves around the church before lighting a candle each for my family, Lula, Ranger, Tank, Lester and Bobby before kneeling down and beginning my prayers for them.

I crossed myself before standing up and turning...to run smack dab into a wall of muscle. Rangers warm voice washed over me, "Careful Babe, you've got to be more aware of your surroundings." before I could catch myself I squealed and flung my arms around his neck in a hug. "Your back!" Feeling his arms slide around me I gave him a squeeze before leaning back and meeting his amused gaze.

"Glad to see you to Steph." I blushed and went to step back but was stopped by his arms tightening around me, his blank look slipped slightly and I noticed how tired he was and how he was favoring his left leg. Giving me a warm look he squeezed again, "Really it's good to see you," nodding to the candles behind me he quirked an eyebrow. "everything good?"

'How does he do that?' A hundred watt smile spread across his face, "Babe." I could feel my face heat up even as I nodded, "Oh. Yeah everything's aok." He let me pull away when I tried again and for the first time I noticed the Merry Men standing behind Ranger by the main doors watching us, I smiled and waved before re-buttoning my coat. "Hey guys!"

Walking up to them I noticed the three of them had the same tired look as Ranger and Tank had a faint burn on forehead, stopping when I was right in front of them I attempted to raise my eyebrow but knew I must have fallen short when Lester attempted a cough to cover up his laugh. "Oh hush up you." and then I felt my mouth precede on before my brain could catch up.

"I'm glad I decided to light candles tonight it looks like you guys need it." There was a deafening silence before I clapped my hand over my mouth and widened my eyes. The four of them stared at me before Bobby's slipped a little "You lit a candle for us?" "Uh..well yeah one for each of you, I hope that's ok? I mean I didn't even stop to think whether you were Catholic or if you'd mind or not," I knew I was babbling but couldn't seem to stop, until Bobby reached out and touched my arm. "It's fine I'm not Catholic but burning things seems to transfer to any religion."

I nodded before pulling out my cell phone and motioning to the door, "It was great seeing you guys again, Ranger." Waving once more I pushed the door open and walked outside into the chilling cold, opening up my cell phone I cursed when I saw the time 9:30. There was no way I was going to be able to call my parents this late without my mother thinking I was on deaths doorstep. Flicking through my contacts I pressed Lula's number, it rang a few times before voicemail picked up and I snapped the it closed.

Usually I'd try Connie next but she had a hot date tonight she's been planning for since last week. Sighing I walked back into the church to ask for a phone book so I could call a taxi 'Stupid lemon of a car, stupid taxi, stupid...' "Babe?" "Jerking to a stop I looked up to the balcony area to see him leaning over staring down "Hey?" "Everything ok?" his voice sounded tight and I noticed that at other spots around the church and a few feet over from the door the Merry Man were positioned with small guns in there hands.

"Ranger, why are you in a church with guns?" Hey if my voice sounded a little shrill sue me, as he was opening his mouth to reply the doors opened and in walked a greasy underweight man...WITH MY SKIP! "YOU!" Tommy looked as shocked to see me as I was to see him, "You! What are you doing hear?! Don't you ever give up?" "No, so why don't we make this easy and you can just come with me and we wont tell you Ma what a twerp you've been."

I had managed to get my hand into my purse without him noticing when the man with him whipped out a gun and pointed it at me, "Don't even try it bitch I will blow you away!" I managed to slide my small can of pepper spray up my sleeve before dropping my purse all together. Tank moved forward on my right his voice booming out. "No sudden moves Sunjata, your outnumbered and surrounded."

He seemed hesitant to move forward any further while the two of us were standing in the cross hair. All the pieces clicked into place on why they were in a church in the middle of the night and I felt my eyes widen, putting my hands up so they were visible I kept spoke to Tommy "I don't know what you're mixed up in Tommy but I can tell you no good Burg boy would ever be mixed up in whatever this is."

It seemed to dawn on him that where he was at was not a good place as he began edging his way away from Sunjata, I met his eyes and flicked towards the floor in between the pews and gave a slight nod. Nodding back he managed to edge a little further away, giving one last glance at Sunjata who eyes kept bouncing from me to Tank and back again. Waiting for him to glance at Tank I dove for the floor, watching Tommy crawl away a few feet from me to the other side of the church I crawled after him as grunts sounded behind us.

Watching him stand up and make a break for it, I stood up and raced after into a hallway I stopped short as I watched Bobby dangle Tommy by the back of his shirt, "This yours?" "Yep his mother and I are so proud." Smirking he set him back down only to pin him to the floor with a piss your pants blank face. "What were you doing with Sunjata?"

"I don't even know who he was he told me he had some really good shit and wanted to know where we could shoot up at! I swear this is the first time I've ever even met the dude! Tell him Plum!" Bobby glanced at me, I shrugged as I spoke. "I don't know what your dudes up for but Daniels was clean until a few months ago and all his file has got is normal stuff." What did he skip bond on?"

Stupidity. He got busted with a lb. of weed and a bong." He nodded before easing up on the pressure he was putting on Tommy's crossed wrists. "What do you want me to do with him?" "Umm..got a pair of handcuffs, mine are out there still in my purse." "Sure, do you want my help getting him out to your car?" "That's kind of why I was coming back in, my cars broke down and since it's not the gas or oil I don't know what's wrong."

"Hhhmm well I know a little bit more so let's go check it out." "I hesitated, "Are you sure Ranger wont get mad that you're helping me?" He gave me a strange look before shaking his head. "He'd be angry if I didn't."

Once Tommy was locked away in the backseat Bobby had me pop the hood shining my flash light wherever he asked me to. Cursing he stood up, "How long have you owned this car?" "Like two weeks, why?" "All the grounding wires are corroded, what dealership did you buy this from?" "I didn't, on of my cousins baby sitters boyfriends sold it to me for a grand.

Though now I'm thinking I paid a grand for a moldy lemon." "That's just about right, just from what I can see it's going to cost you a couple more to fix and that's just the topical stuff." Across the street a black SUV pulled in long enough for Sunjata to get loaded up and then pulled away like it was never there. "You know you didn't see anything right?" Turning back to him I met his eyes

"I know, but it sure was hot to see the four of you all dolled up for a night on the town." I tossed him a wink as his surprised look morphed into one of delight, "Ranger was right you are the full package." I felt myself blush for the second time that night. "He said that?" "Shit don't tell him I said that." I narrowed my eyes, "I wont tell him you said that if you happen to let it slip that I'm not with Morrelli any more."

he looked pleased. "Ok then shake on it?" Chuckling I held out my hand, giving his a slight squeeze before dropping it. "I'll be right back ok?" "Sure." He reappeared a few minutes later with my purse, "They'll be over in a few minutes, I told them you needed a ride so there rearranging stuff in the back seat." "I'm really sorry but I cant exactly take him in the taxi with me." "It's all good...Ranger seemed happy about it." I shot him a grin.

30 minutes later I had handed off Tommy and gotten my check, Eddie stopped me just as I was leaving the station. "Hey Steph!" Turning I smiled "Yeah?" "I just got off if you want me to give you a ride home?" 'I've already imposed long enough on Ranger...' "Sure Eddie that would be great, just let me go grab my purse and tell Ranger he can take off." "Ok meet me out front in five."

"Sounds good, thanks." Running over to the SUV I opened up the passenger side door, Ranger sent me that half smile I loved so much. "Ready to go?" "Eddie said he'd run me home so you guys don't get stuck schlepping me around for the rest off the night. "Rangers smile dropped, "Ok stay safe Babe." Feeling a little zing of disappointment I nodded, grabbing my purse I pulled almost all the way back at of the cab before I said screw it and dived back in. "What..."

Almost falling into his lap I pulled him to me and kissed him. It took barely a heartbeat before he was kissing me back all tongue and teeth and desire. Pulling away with a gasp I yanked out of his grasp and hopped out of the cab. "Merry belated Christmas Carlos." I heard Lester's voice as I was closing the door, "Come back beautiful, I I'd like that kind of Merry Christmas to please!" followed with a yelp of pain. Laughing I ran to where Eddie was waiting in his idling car, jumping in Eddie gave me a strange look. "What?" "Nothing." 'Balls in your court Manoso." As we drove past Rangers SUV the window rolled down and Ranger gave me the universal signal of I'm watching you." Laughing once more I waved and blew him a kiss.

**Author's Note:**

> This is an un-beta'd fic, this is my first dip into Babe waters and my second 1 shot so please review to tell me what I can do better!


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